no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible
If it’s any consolation, I get it. I’m a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I really had to go so I did it fast and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and bounced into the stall next to me.
The OCCUPIED stall next to me.
I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the dude just goes, “Uh, you dropped your dick man,” and nudges it over with his foot.
“You dropped your dick man”
True solidarity
Look you just gotta help another man out in case his dick falls off
everyone who reads this post will get some bigspicyjoy within 24 large minutes (hours)
Ok y'all but like I’m not even kidding about this I read this post yesterday and today I got an email from the peeps at hamilton and I won the lotto gor $10 tickets and I would like to give all my thanks to the internet’s favorite fish, Goldie Gurston, for making this possible because I totally believe they did this with their amazing gay powers
So I know this is likely a coincidence…but I reblogged this and just now discovered I’ve been given a $150 amazon gift card as a bonus at work. So thank you, fish!
If it worked for them I hope it works for everyone else
Being bisexual is weird because like I don’t know about other bisexuals, but bi-erasure is so strong that even I think I’m faking it sometimes?? like one day I’ll wake up and be like “I’m obviously living a lie I’m a giant homosexual??” but then a second later I’ll be like “Am I just a straight person lying to myself???” Its like I forget my own orientation exists
everyone who reads this post will get some bigspicyjoy within 24 large minutes (hours)
Ok y'all but like I’m not even kidding about this I read this post yesterday and today I got an email from the peeps at hamilton and I won the lotto gor $10 tickets and I would like to give all my thanks to the internet’s favorite fish, Goldie Gurston, for making this possible because I totally believe they did this with their amazing gay powers
So I know this is likely a coincidence…but I reblogged this and just now discovered I’ve been given a $150 amazon gift card as a bonus at work. So thank you, fish!
If it worked for them I hope it works for everyone else
Somebigspicy joy pls
SOMEBIG SPICYJOY PLEASE
Pleass
One helping of some big spicy joy please!
We’re going to the housing for homeless place tomorrow. Spicy joy would be nice.
god how do people just function?!? its like i can either take care of my schoolwork OR keep my apartment clean OR look after my mental health OR have a social life… but never two or more at a time. no matter which aspect of my life is going well at a given moment, theres always 3 dumpster fires blazing away in the background. i feel like im playing adult whack-a-mole
![fortuneaday:
“[A white fortune cookie paper with black text reading: Your fondest dream will come true within this year.]
”](https://64.media.tumblr.com/355d6f464fd1d454ee9bd17383134393/tumblr_pnyfs6AsiM1r1exbco1_500.png)
